As I drove east, heading off the North Country Trail, I thought of all the things in my life that hadn’t gone the way I wanted them to. Even the most difficult of these opened new doors to me. I am grateful I had found the courage to let go of the old and walk through those new doors.

While I wouldn’t have wished for the end of my marriage, it opened a door for me to have so many wonderful adventures. Besides hiking the Continental Divide Trail and finally getting my triple crown, I have hiked, biked, skied and paddled the entire length of Vermont and completed all but one of the 11 national scenic trails. Calling off my first attempt at the Pacific Northwest Trail partway through, allowed me time to go up to Alaska when I finally finished the PNT the following year. That Alaskan trip is still one of the highlights of my life, especially climbing down into the glaciers and paddling among the icebergs.

Breaking ties with the first person who I thought was going to publish Meeting Mary Badass, opened the door for me to meet Sean, an amazing young man who has gone out of his way to make my book as attractive as possible. In addition to helping market it, he has released the book in paperback, hardcover, digital and large print formats. He is currently editing the audio version. My life is so much richer for having connected with this insightful, kind young man and my book is in much better hands with him than it would have been with anyone else.

As I drove east, I felt at a bit of a loss as to what I would do next, but I held onto the lessons of my past which taught me that if I keep taking one step forward, my life will reveal itself in ways I couldn’t have imagined.

I was glad to drive across the Mackinac Bridge connecting the upper peninsula with the lower part of Michigan. The North Country Trail crosses this bridge, but people are only allowed to walk across it on one day of the year. I don’t know if I’ll ever be there on Labor Day to join at least 30,000 other people walking across the bridge, but at least I’ll know that I personally drove across it. Most NCT hikers get shuttled across. After crossing the bridge, I got into the more heavily trafficked eastern part of my drive. I spent one night sleeping in a parking lot in my car before arriving back in Vermont.

I am always humbled and encouraged by the speed with which vegetation grows in a some climates. I had to chop weeds away just to be able to find my front porch steps. It gives me encouragement to know that nature will continue work towards healing the damage we humans impose upon it.

I wanted to get my foot checked out by my doctor, but hated to once again enter into the morass of having to advocate for myself in the medical world. When I first called to get an appointment, I was given one in December! I explained I thought I might have a broken foot and was told the best they could do was put me on a waiting list. They suggested I go to an emergency room.

When I was growing up, people weren’t sent to emergency rooms unless they were really on the verge of dying. It is difficult for me to justify the cost and time for both myself and the busy ER staff unless I really feel ill. I knew if I did have a stress fracture, it probably wouldn’t show up on an x-ray. I would need an MRI. The last time I had gone to an emergency room for an x-ray of my other foot after falling in a solution hole on the Florida Trail, I had to fight the hospital to do an MRI when the x-ray came back negative. Even then, the hospital only gave me a prescription for one, but they refused to do it there. Luckily, in Florida there are independent places I could go for the MRI, which confirmed my suspicion of a stress fracture in my left foot.

From those past experiences, I knew what I needed to diagnose my right foot. I also knew it wasn’t in my best interest to wait until December to find out. Even though I sometimes feel I am annoying others, I went into self-advocating mode and finally was able to get a podiatry appointment within a couple of weeks. That still wasn’t great, but it was better than waiting for months. I feel bad for those who have an even harder time advocating for themselves to get what they need from our broken medical system.

At this appointment, my doctor told me the way my burnt foot now twists was causing problems. He suspected I had a navicular bone fracture and promptly ordered an MRI, which confirmed his suspicions. He wanted to put me in a plaster cast, but because I have to access the foot to take care of the skin graft, he put me in a knee-high orthopedic boot. Since this is considered a high risk fracture as the navicular bone is one of only two in the body with an incomplete blood supply to it, I was told to put absolutely no weight on that foot for at least six weeks. The doctor joked that they had considered putting tacks in the bottom of my cast to make sure I didn’t walk on it! While it’s true I tend to do whatever I can, even when injured, I also know it is sometimes prudent to follow the advice of medical people. The frustrating thing for me was that before I left to go hiking, I kept telling numerous doctors I needed a really good orthotic to correct the way my burnt foot was twisting, but I had a really difficult time getting anyone to listen and agree. When I finally found someone to make an orthotic for me, they were mostly concerned with the mechanics of my foot and didn’t fully take into affect how the skin graft would cause me to walk.

Although I’m still in the orthopedic boot, watching the muscles in my right leg and foot deteriorate from lack of use, I have managed a new first. I have traveled through Vermont four different ways; on bike, foot, in a kayak and on skis. Now I have officially done four different sports while on crutches in an orthopedic boot. I’ve paddled a kayak, squeezing my booted foot into the boat. I’ve ridden my E bike in two orthopedic boots with crutches strapped to the back of it. I hiked a short part of the Continental Divide Trail on crutches and hiked 750 miles of the Florida Trail on crutches in an orthopedic boot. Now I have added swimming to that list. It’s a non-weight-bearing activity and since I was able to find a second knee-high orthopedic boot, I’ve been able to go in a pool and at least move that leg somewhat. It feels like I have a concrete block on my foot, although I have discovered if I pump up the air cast, it gives me some buoyancy. The hardest part about swimming in the boot is navigating a wet tile floor in the locker room on crutches.

As I contemplated leaving the North Country Trail for the year, I fantasized doing a book tour with Sean as a way to minimize my disappointment at leaving the Trail. But again, this turned out not to be something that went as planned. Instead, I needed to stay around home getting some things done. I’ve helped my elder friends who were in need of help at a critical time in their lives. In addition, I helped out at a nonprofit Window Dressers event. This was good timing for them as the person coordinating the event was injured in a last-minute accident. I was glad to be able to step in and help this great organization which builds lightweight storm windows, and makes them available to people, regardless of their ability to pay. This was my fourth year being involved with them.

In addition, I’ve been kept plenty busy getting my book into local bookstores and doing readings at numerous libraries. While I was doing all that, Sean has done an amazing amount of work getting the different versions of my book out and creating an author page for me on the Ensō Press webpage.

All of this solidifies my belief that as long as I listen to my inner parts telling me what they need, especially when it’s difficult to hear, and as long as I don’t let fear keep me from putting one foot in front of the other, even when I don’t know where I’m going, I will end up somewhere good enough. By going with the flow when things seem rough, leaning into the moment with curiosity rather than focusing on how difficult it seems, I am able to walk through the new doors which open for me. It may not be perfect, but I’ve learned to let go of any expectation of a perfect world and to be grateful for good enough.

To see more photos follow me on Instagram @themarybadass

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