Now that I have a broken foot it seems there are two camps of people. One group calls me Badass, says I’m inspiring and encourages me to keep going. There’s another group that are concerned for me. They tell me I should give up and go home so I don’t hurt my foot more. I understand this comes from their fears and caring, but I’m not sure I would get as much of this latter advice if I was male.

I’ve been getting advice from well meaning people for years. When I was in my early 20’s I had back surgery and was told by a doctor I had to give up hiking. Thank God I didn’t listen to him! When I first started hiking after my husband deserted me without a word, I had two therapists who tried to hospitalize me, insisting it would be a better place for me than the Continental Divide Trail. They thought I was insane for going off to hike! Luckily I trusted myself and went off adventuring. I know I would not have accomplished the healing I have if I had not followed my inner wisdom. In fact, if they had managed to slap me in the hospital, I expect I would still be a complete emotional mess.

Before I set off for the Florida Trail, some people tried to convince me not to do it, expressing concerns about the swamps, alligators, snakes and more. I admit that I, too, had concerns, not knowing exactly what I was getting into. But I try not to let fear stop me, knowing that just because I’m afraid it doesn’t mean something bad is going to happen. I knew if the trail was that dangerous there wouldn’t be so many people doing it. I countered the fear by empowering myself with gathering information. I spoke with people who had done the trail before and heard from many of them how beautiful the Florida Trail was. I’m glad I listened to that latter group of people, as the Florida Trail has far exceeded my expectations for a beautiful hiking trail.

I used to feel my hackles rise when people gave me advice. In fact, I was set to dismiss advice, even if it was helpful. Luckily that no longer happens. I can now hear what others say way, weigh their words and make my own choices.

I know giving advice helps people feel meaningful and usually comes from a place of caring. I think often advice holds the speaker’s fears, regrets and desires for her own life. I think sometimes people give me advice when what I do takes them outside of their comfort zone and forces them to look at ways, they might expand their own lives.

Recognizing this has helped me work on curbing my natural inclination to give advice. Now I try to ask before giving advice. I work to remember that the person receiving advice I give is a competent, capable individual able to move forward in life without input from me. I know If I approach someone with the attitude that I know better, I do harm to the other’s sense of self.

The people giving me advice to quit hiking with a broken foot mean well. I respect that’s the decision they would make for themselves. But I know that for me at this time in my life, quitting is not the right decision.

By listening to my inner voice, I’ve so far managed to hike about 225 miles of the Florida Trail on crutches. It’s not been easy but it’s actually not been as difficult as I thought it would be. When I did a section of the Continental Divide Trail on crutches, it took me five days to do 36 miles, and all of those were on pavement. On the Florida Trail I started with an 11 mile day on pavement and worked up to where a 15 mile day is my average. I’ve even done some days just over 20 miles when the trail has been more pavement and easier to crutch. Ironically, the pavement sections which are often the bane of thru hikers, have become the easier part for me on crutches. It’s the sandy, muddy, swampy sections or those littered with palm fronds that gets stuck on the end of my crutches and trip me up which have become more difficult. It’s also harder to crutch when the trail is in a bit of a depression where the sides of the trail rise up higher. This forces me to remove the crutches from under my armpits or to swing them in a really unnatural way in order to navigate the higher sides of the trail.

Luckily the crutches the Casteel family gave me were well padded in the armpits. After painful blisters on my hands when crunching on the CDT, I made sure to pad the handpieces well. The pipe insulation wrapped around them have worked well even though it has required replacing every few days. I tape additional pieces of pipe insulation to my hand when I start to get a hot spot and thus far I’ve escaped any painful blisters.

Had I given up and gone back home when I broke my foot, I would have been in a situation in which I had to shovel snow off my solar panels, plow my driveway and heat my house with wood all while on crutches. No doubt this would have triggered my sense of aloneness. By following instead my inner wisdom, I’ve been able to continue limping towards my goal. I’ve met some wonderfulTrail angels. I swam in some beautiful Florida springs and because I’ve been doing each section more like a day hike, I’ve been able to change directions to accommodate the best scenario. For example, rather than starting one morning in the cool fog at Juniper Springs, I left my car at Juniper Springs and started my hike15 miles north, knowing that by the time I arrived at the spring in mid afternoon, I would welcome a lovely swim in the beautiful water. I’ve seen some inspiring forests of palm trees, large Cypress, and towering live oak that reach their branches down to the ground before sweeping back up to the air again. I’ve gone through sections bedecked with Spanish moss, full of the song of various birds, including sandhill cranes, scrub jays, wrens, wood peckers, warblers and more. Being on crutches has forced me to be even more aware of what’s under my feet. It has helped me marvel at the intricacies of dew on spider’s webs and the fine grain artwork of the pocket gophers that builds huge mounds on the trail.

Because I’m shuttling my car each day, I’ve gotten to see much more of the Florida landscape than I would have had I only been walking the straight path of the trail. I have found it amusing that for the last year or so I’ve been saying I’d love to find a way to hike the trail without my pack. Now, here I am doing just that. Of course I didn’t expect to be doing it with a broken foot but it turns out a broken foot is far from a sad disaster. In fact, I hope to use this experience to inspire people who live their entire lives on crutches to get out and hike if they so desire.

So while I’m grateful for those who care enough to give me advice, I’m more grateful to those who see the Badass in me and support It. I know I have a tendency to push through pain and I’ve been careful to listen to my body. In fact, one day, knowing that I could use a rest (I almost said break, but I already have one of those😀!) I decided to take a day off from hiking and drive to a Florida Trail festival. I’ve seldom gone to a trail fest day and was thrilled that I was able to pick up and bring two other hikers to the event. The event is worth writing about, but as this blog is already long enough, to hear about the festival, you’ll have to read on another day.

FYI these blogs come out about a week behind real time. To get more current events and additional photos you can follow me on Instagram @themarybadass

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