It has taken me a while to get used to a major optical illusion seen across the Florida swamps. Known as cypress domes, these featues are not domes at all. While viewed from almost any distance cypress domes look like small hills, they are in fact depressions!

The reason for this is as follows: cypress trees grow tallest in the deepest water. When water is shallower, the trees are shorter. If you think of most ponds, they are depressions that are deeper in the center and get shallower closer to shore. This is exactly the case in a cypress dome, and as a result there are quite tall cypress trees in the center, surrounded by smaller and smaller trees as the water gets shallower on the outer edges of the domes. Thus when looking at the dome, one sees a series of short trees followed by ever higher ones behind them. This gives the impression that the land is rising, when in fact it is dropping, enabling the cypress trees to get taller. As we approached these domes, I came to know I would be walking in ever deepening water as I went further into them.

Of course this got me thinking about other optical illusions in my life. I saw how I had projected onto my exhusband the man I wanted him to be and therefore missed his years of lying to me. I thought of ways I might sometimes project something negative onto someone, missing the true person they are beneath a rough exterior.

I used to view the world through the lens of childhood abuse, which left me feeling scared and unloveable. Every day was a chore to get through until I learned to lean into each day, taking it as it comes without projection. Now if a day feels easy or hard I am equally grateful, knowing that both experiences have provided me something I can use to grow more loving and kind in the world.

In addition, leaning into whatever comes my way allows me to maintain a more even keel without wild mood swings. I don’t always get it right, as a recent experience just before this trip showed when I was totally beside myself trying to get this wordpress account to upgrade from a free one to a paid one so I could continue to blog while on the hike. In part this happened because I did not take time to eat or listen to my body, taken over by the optical illusion that I had to keep plugging away until I got it fixed as opposed to stepping back and trusting it would fall into place.

For years I woke each morning wishing I was dead. Now I wake up and decide to stay alive, knowing that if I am going to make that decision I might as well decide it is going to be a good day. Then I look at the world through a positve lens rather than through a lens that expects to be hurt and mistreated. Without the optical illusions that come from my projections, I see people more objectively and can walk away from those who are harmful for me to spend time with.

And like hiking in the swamp, if I keep a positive attitude I am able to enjoy whatever comes even when it is difficult. I used the moments of slipping throught he mud, tripping over a hidden obstacle and running in the water trying not to fall, and even twice falling, catching myself with my arms before completely submerging in the water, as moments to remind myself to slow down and look around. Rather than being stuck in the illusion some hikers have of the swamp being something to endure and get through as quickly as possible, I took on the illusion that others shared with me when they told me how beautiful the swamp was. I found a rhythm that worked for me and even though it was tiring I made really good time, channeling the inner child who might enjoy playing in mud and stomping through puddles. Granted the mud and “puddles” on the Florida trail were bigger than on any other trail I have ever hiked. And that is no optical illusion!

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