At a class IV Rapid on the Connecticut River during my Source to Sea Paddle

Leaving the Trail

The church in Havillah as Bill’s truck pulled away

After confirming that I had at least one broken foot, I planed to stay at the church in Havillah for a few days. Since I often find that transitions to be difficult, I wanted to give myself time to make this very unexpected one. Sometimes I feel anxiety before I leave one place to go somewhere else. Once I’m on the road, I’m fine, but the leaving part is sometimes hard. I think of it as similar to toddlers who have trouble leaving what they’re doing to go somewhere else, especially when their mothers tell them abruptly that it’s time to go. Just as it is easier for toddlers to transition with a little bit of lead time, I wanted to take it slow and give myself at least one, if not two, zero days at the church before heading out.

After taking a shower at the church, I changed into some clothes provided to me from clothing donations which the church sends overseas. I was grateful for these clothes as I didn’t want anyone who sat next to me on the train to endure my filthy hiker clothes, which were only slightly less filthy after going through the wash.

Sign Outside the Church

I ate lunch and had a nice visit with Mighty Mouse Sarah who decided to take one zero at the church. Then I settled in for a nap. I was just falling asleep when my phone rang. It was Corinna who had trail angeled me in Orient. She told me she had a friend who lived near the church I was at. Bill is a long time friend of Corinna and was happy for the excuse to visit her. He would drive me the eighty miles to Orient if I could be ready in half an hour. Corinna said I could stay with her that night and she would drive me to the bus the following morning. The bus would take me to the train, which would take me to my car in East Glacier, Montana. While I didn’t feel ready for the abrupt change, it made sense to take her up on the offer. I drew on my thru hiking experiences of sometimes needing to make quick changes in plans and started throwing things into my pack. My gear was somewhat strewn around the large room and I was appreciative of the help that Mighty Mouse gave me since hobbling around on crutches while trying to carry things was difficult.

As I threw gear into my pack I realized one bright spot in all of this was that I wouldn’t have a long, sad goodbye with Mighty Mouse or with the trail. I barely got packed up and outside in time to hop into Bill’s truck. I wasn’t even able to take the picturesI wanted.

As he drove me to Orient, I thought about the slower paced life of the thru hiker compared to the much faster paced ” real” world I was about to enter. It felt odd to be moving inside of a metal box on wheels and I thought of all the things we humans do that are so outside of the natural world of all other mammals.

The Empty Bus/Train Station

I also thought about post hike depression. The potential for it after a thru hike is quite common. I am prone to this, especially under the circumstances I found myself in, which included a very abrupt end to the hike. For the first time in 19,000 miles of hiking, I stopped a hike before my end goal. But what concerned me even more than that or the fact that I would go from a brain filled with endorphins due to working my body hard each day, to very little exercise because of my broken feet, was the fact that I would be returning to an empty house with all the ghosts of my recent divorce. I vowed to be gentle with myself and do everything I could to not fall into that depressive hole.

It was great to visit with Corinna again. In the morning she drove me to Kettle Falls, where I got on a bus to Spokane. The bus dropped me at the train station at four pm. I settled in for a long wait as my train would not arrive until after one AM. I was extremely grateful for all the food Corinna packed for me and was touched by her thoughtfulness. She even included a lovely cloth napkin decorated with butterflies.

Settling in for the Long Wait

When I arrived at the Amtrack station, the promised wheelchair was nowhere in sight. Nor was there anyone in the near empty building who knew anything about it. While the young, male security guard stood by and watched, I struggled to get into the station with my gear. It was the older woman bus driver who ended up carrying my pack in and helping me get settled.

When the train finally arrived, the Amtrak employee yelled at me for not having a wheelchair! Out of all the people boarding the train, it was a man who barely spoke english who stepped up to help me. Bridging the gap between the platform and the train on crutches with my pack was a challenge so he took my pack. As I settled into the last open seat in the train car, I realized I was embarking on a very different type of adventure and would have to work to remain positive and open to whatever came my way.

11 responses to “Leaving the Trail”

  1. Your journey is life now, please tell us how things work out for you. You are such a good writer; I always am eager for the next chapter, even if it’s about difficult things. Life isn’t always about being positive happy or successful in the way we had planned. It’s about being with what is and being true to yourself. You are a wonderful example of that!

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    1. And thanks for your feedback on my writing. It really helps me keep posting because sometimes I wonder if anybody’s even really reading it or if it’s worth all the work I put into it so getting positive feedback helps.

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  2. Having to leave the Church unexpectedly seemed to give less time for anxiety, and a friend to visit to look forward to. Glad some folks stepped up to help you, and not the ones that you would have expected.

    May I suggest that you think about the changes you can make to make your house into your own comfortable home.

    Hugs,

    Nanette

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  3. PS you don’t have to give up exercise because of your foot injury! A swimming pool can help you get all the exercise you need and also speed up your recovery. If there is one anywhere near you when you get home I hope you check it out, even if you hate water and can’t swim. Ask me how I know this Lol…

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    1. Yes, I’ve used to pull many times when I broke both my knees at once when I had back surgery and couldn’t walk being in the water safe to me it’s not something I was able to do now because I’ve been having some trouble with my ears and my balance and swimming makes me really dizzy, but I found another way to exercise and I’ll be posting some pictures about it soon soit’ll make you laugh and thanks for the feedback

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  4. Sending healing thoughts your direction!

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  5. What an unexpected journey and need to make a 180 degree turn. But the bright spots of the unexpected help are so encouraging. I do like the comment from one of your followers about how life is about being with what is. Very difficult, and I imagine most people struggle with this, but a good reminder to us all.
    A rest for healing. This is what is for now.

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    1. All in all, I’m seeing the positive in all of this. I’ll be writing about more of it later. Look forward to catching up with you soon.

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  6. clearartisan0a89992ef1 Avatar
    clearartisan0a89992ef1

    ADVENTURES oh boy.. you did well.. I to wish you could have gotten more photos you wanted.. But the trip with Bill was in perfect time , as well as bus then train.. it really clicked and happened.. I never heard a lot about your drive back to Vermont from Montana… But I am happy you were very successful in getting all things in order to this point.. even your lovely recorder.. yay.. life is good Mary .. and you my dear deserve every bit of your good Karma.. expect good (great things) to come your way.. Keep up the good healing. your friend, Corinna

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    1. And thanks to you for everything you sure made it a lot easier for me

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  7. Your trekking spirit will still shine out to us all, even in a hobble. Blessings, johnnie

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