When we arrived at the border of Canada and the United States, it took me a while to process all the cars and people there. This area had been empty when I started the northern half of the CDT in 2021. Then it struck me that back then the border had been closed because of Covid, and what I was seeing now was more the norm.

After taking pictures of all of us we headed down the trail. We immediately met a young woman with her father. She, too, was planning on hiking the PNT though was starting out faster than we were, so it was possible that was the only time we would see her.

I was still chatting with her father when Mary and Sarah took off down the trail. By the time I got started they were well out of sight. I felt a twinge of having been left behind, but quickly relaxed into hiking my own hike, knowing on trail as HYOH.

I have spoken before of HYOH, but like many things in life, lessons and skills we think we have already learned come back around and show us how much more we can learn. Even a skilled carpenter or seamstress can always learn new tricks as long as they remain open to learning. As I walked an easy downhill through fields filled with flowers, I knew I would be learning HYOH on a deeper level.

As the day went on and I walked through intermittent rain, I recognized I would be the last of our group to arrive in camp. I had a few moments of chatter inside my head, making excuses for why I was last. I didn’t want people to think I was going to be a drag by being slow so I invented a conversation in which I arrived in camp telling them how much I stopped to take photos and chat with the many groups of hikers coming the other way.

Both of those things were true, but thankfully I quickly realized that I did not have to make any excuses. I knew that the concerns I was having about what they might think were really my concerns that I was projecting outward. As soon as I recognized this I was able to relax more into HYOH. My challenge will be to fully embrace that my pace is just right for me. I have enough experience to show me that it will get me to my goal. I am grateful that I can’t even use the “old lady” excuse, as Mary is only two years younger than I am. This will truly help me move further down the path of being okay with myself just as I am. Ironically, when I did finally reach camp Sarah said she had just arrived and not even had a moment to sit down yet!

As I was hiking along interspersing these thoughts with taking pictures of the beauty around me, I had the realization that all my life I had changed myself to fit in with the men around me. I thought again of Doris June and how much she sacrificed to be a good wife. I don’t know if I will ever again join with a partner, but in the moments of deeper awareness of HYOH I knew I would no longer change my hike nor my life for someone else’s approval. The little girl in me had been doing that our whole life, wanting our mother, friends and partners to like us. When I let the gratitude of these deeper challenges to HYOH seep in, I knew if I was to ever join with a partner in the future, he would have to accept me just as I am. He would have to want to walk along with me and not change the path I am on. This felt like such a powerful learning, especially given that it began by having a few people start out hiking ahead of me! It is yet another reminder that rather than than going down the path of being disgruntled and feeling wronged, when I stay in the present, leaning into whatever feelings come my way, I can come to a place of gratitude and contentment with deeper understanding of myself.

I know that all of my current tramily bring different skills to the table, and I expect if we stay together for a while we will begin to recognize and appreciate these strengths in each other. One might lighten a difficult moment with humor or help keep us going in tough times. Another might bring knowledge and wisdom from past experiences. Already I learned one new skill from Trashalope, a 31 year old man from Atlanta who has hiked around 10,000 miles. He jumped in on our park permit even though his preference is to do 30 mile days. Having easy transportation to the ranger station to get the permit and also to the trailhead was worth it to him. He knows he has a tendency to start too fast from the gate so is content to dawdle with us females until we leave the park.

We were hanging our food bags, and I was struggling with pulling on the rope. It is tough to hoist a full food bag by pulling on a skinny rope with bare hands. Trashalope showed me how to take a small stick and wind it into the rope. This gave me a handle to pull on and made the job so much easier. By alternating using two sticks, I could pull down with one as low as I could go, then, while holding tension on the first, I was able to twist the second stick onto the rope before letting go of the first. By repeating this a number of times I was easily able to get my food bag as high as it needed to go.

I am thrilled to still be learning new skills after 19,000 miles of hiking. I also am happy to share what I know. Trashalope has hiked the Florida trail, which is one national scenic trail I have yet to do. I hope to hike it this winter so am mining him for information. He wants to do the Arizona and Ice Age Trails so I am sharing what I know with him.

I am writing this at 9:30 on the second morning of the hike, huddled into my sleeping bag while rain, which started by six last evening, continues to pour down. Luckily we only have about 8 miles to our next campsite so none of us are moving yet. It is supposed to clear for a bit this afternoon. I just hope this rain was not snow at higher elevations. Tomorrow we go over S.toney Indian Pass which can be dicey when covered in snow. But the weather on Saturday is supposed to be clear and we came prepared. I’ll let you know how it goes!