“They are not dead who live in lives they leave behind–in those whom they have blessed, they live again.”

Maya Angelou

As I mentioned in my last post, I was blest by Doris June via trail angel Debbie. I feel compelled to write more about this.

Doris June, or Dot as she was commonly called, was born December 4, 1929. As a child, she loved hiking and sailing at a family cabin in the mountains of Colorado. This love of the outdoors continued for her entire life although after she got married, her mountain experiences changed. While she still got out once or twice a year it was with her husband on his hunting trips where she would serve as cook.

Like many women of her times, she married with the understanding that her life was to be given over to serving her husband. To this she was faithful, even when the marriage was not a fulfilling one and it meant putting her dreams and desires to spend more time roaming in the mountains on hold. Unfortunately, by the time her husband died, her body would not let her do the hiking she so loved to do.

In January of 2020, I arrived home after a day of teaching adaptive ski lessons to discover my husband gone. The house looked like it had been robbed, as he had taken everything he wanted when he left. While it left me seriously suicidal at the time, through people like Doris June I have learned to be grateful that he left me.

I believe there is value in trying to work through difficulties in a relationship, but when one party is constantly lying to the other, there’s not much of a genuine relationship. And when one partner runs away without a word of warning, as my ex did, there’s not much the other person can do. Thinking about Doris June trapped in an unfulfilling relationship has helped me be more grateful that my ex left me.

While it would have been nice to have had a much kinder, less cruel ending to my marriage, I’ve had to accept that I had no power to change the trajectory my wasband (ex husband) put us on. All I could do was to work hard not to become bitter. In the end, I even had to walk away from the legal proceedings in order to save my spirit and soul. But people like Doris June have shown me the positives in all of this.

I did not suffer the fate of being locked into a marriage in which I was the one constantly on the giving side. Unlike Dot and untold numbers of women around the world, I was given the gift to freely follow my dreams without the expectations that I would cook dinner every evening and provide for my husband’s every desire. Rather than doing the same easy hikes which he wanted to do over and over and over again, when the man I was married to left, I was free to pursue my dream of hiking the Continental Divide Trail. I was able to attain a lifelong goal of getting my Triple Crown, which is what it’s called when you’ve hiked the Continental Divide Trail, Pacific Crest Trail, and Appalachian Trail.

It was daunting for me to plan a long distance hike solo in my sixties, especially one with the reputation of the CDT. Because I was so desperate and suicidal I knew I had no choice but to listen to that inner voice telling me to go hike. This has reminded me that adversity can be a gift as long as I refuse to become bitter and stay open to the learning and opportunities it brings. I’m not sure if I would have found it in myself to do solo long-distance hiking in my 60s without the emotional pain to spur me onto action.

Once I took those first steps and opened myself to trusting my needs would be met, I saw kindness almost everywhere. I am in debt to everyone who has been kind to me in my travels. Each kindness healed wounds inside of me and helped me stay open to the wonders of this world.

I have become aware that despite the adversities in my life, I’ve been given many gifts. I have a fighting spirit that has many times served me well. Through dissociation, I was able to survive childhood abuse. And by some miracle of grace I have learned to value compassion and kindness over anger and hatred. I have been humbled by how many blessings I have received once I chose to trust.

When Dot died in 2015 she chose to bless her niece, Debbie. And Debbie has chosen to bless me in Dot’s memory. My new tent has been christened “The Doris June.” I feel honored and humbled to carry her dream and the dreams of all repressed women with me on my hikes.

I was sharing this story with a native medicine man who right away said, “She’s going to be hiking with you.” As soon as he said that, the TV in the room we were sitting in turned itself on. It was as if Dot, who had a feisty personality, was there agreeing with him!

I hope I can pass on these blessings by encouraging people to step out of their comfort zone and do even one small thing that’s on their bucket list. By doing this you’ll be carrying on the memory of Doris June and all the other people who weren’t able to do it in their lifetime.

I can’t wait to see what having Dot as a hiking partner will bring my way.