I mentioned before that Santa Fe has laws about what color the houses can be painted. There are a few gray ones but most of the dwellings are some shade of brown. Today on my walk I noticed that some of the houses had blue doors and window frames. Others had red roofs. I laughed at how the people who so endowed those houses did what they could to stand out and be different. This got me thinking about how we all want acknowledgment in the world. I think even the most introverted people want to be seen and recognized.
I am aware that on my healing journey my hurt parts wanted to be seen in their hurt. They didn’t want somebody to tell them how they should feel better or to “just let go of it.” They wanted acknowledgment for where they were at, pain and all. Sitting with someone in those places of pain is difficult for many people and the tendency is to want to fix it. But it was simply acknowledgment in the place where they were at that put me on the fastest road towards healing. Once those hurt places felt fully acknowledged and accepted as they were in their pain by both myself and others, we were able to gradually move away from the pain and shift into gratitude.
I know I also like to be recognized when I’m feeling happy. Sharing my happy moments increases my enjoyment. Being alone on the trail has really brought this home for me and left me trying to pay more attention when someone shares their joy with me, even if what they are joyful about isn’t exciting to me. What matters is that I leave that person knowing they were seen.
Seeing those houses with the splashes of color also brought to mind how nice it is to have variety in life. It is lovely to have the buildings blend into the fairly brown background of the land in this part of the country. But I think about how drab our lives would be if everything was the same color. Part of what made the desert so beautiful to me was the variety of color in all the flowers I saw out there.
I’m working to appreciate differences, even when they are outside of my comfort zone. I know there are other people who like and appreciate things I don’t enjoy so I’m glad that variety is out there for them.
Some things are harder for me to accept than others and there are some things I am choosing not to accept. I draw the line around anything that harms another person. I also reject accepting things that are harmful to the environment. And while I can accept each person’s right to live out her beliefs, I don’t accept that anyone has the right to impose their beliefs onto another. I am continually working to increase my understanding of differences. I know as I do this I will increase my tolerance and compassion for my own imperfections.
I am continually amazed at how something as seemingly mundane as brightly painted door frames can set my brain in motion. It is yet another reminder to me that small things matter. Someone painted their door frame blue. That led me to some internal musings, which I then wrote about. Who knows where it will go from there!
The Mary Badass 
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