My plan had been to spend that first day off the Arizona Trail hiking in a slot canyon before catching a ride out the following morning. When I first planned on hiking this canyon, I didn’t realize it was the same one I had hiked from end to end a number of years ago. Knowing I had already hiked it once, combined with recent rain left me a little less enthused to it. Rain anywhere in the watershed of a slot canyon can be really dangerous. There hadn’t been a huge downpour and it probably would’ve been OK but I was wavering. I was tired and my food was getting low, leaving me with what I call the bottom of the barrel things. But what really made the decision for me was when trail angel Forest showed up to give Laurie, Chaco, Treking Pole and Bard a ride out. He came with donuts and cold drinks for us to celebrate with, And he offered to give me a ride as well. He wasn’t going to Page Arizona, where I was trying to get to, but he was going to drop Treking Pole and Bard at their car. Since Treking Pole and Bard were driving to Page, they offered to give me a ride. The idea of having an easy ride out without having to do any hitching or put in any work appealed to me more than hiking in the canyon, even though I knew it was a beautiful place.

My memories of it included steep vertical sides with the narrow trail sometimes barely a few feet wide and sometimes in water that reached my waist. I’m sure I would’ve enjoyed it, but I knew there were more trails waiting for me. I opted to take the easy ride instead and reminded myself there was no shame in that.

Loneliness was starting to creep in when I got out of the car at the very small airport in Page. It was hard saying goodbye to everyone I had met on the trail and going off alone. Luckily, I’ve become aware of this feeling and where it originates from, so rather than having it completely overwhelm me and bring me to tears, I was able to dialogue with that lonely part and reminded her of all the people who are in our life.

I was also aware that I was both extremely tired and hungry, even though I had eaten two donuts on top of my breakfast that morning. The drive to Page had taken a number of hours, and I hadn’t slept well the night before. I was ready for a good meal, a nap and a shower in that order. Instead, I had to walk into the airport, gather information and make a decision about how I would get back to Santa Fe.

I could have pieced together some small planes, but I really preferred to drive. There was a car rental place in the airport, but I and some other people had called and were all told the rental business there was privately owned and didn’t do one way rentals. Still I thought I would ask again.

I was more than pleasantly surprised when I was told they had just gotten an SUV in that day that could go out on a one-way trip. They were willing to rent it to me for much less than the cost of a plane. I wouldn’t have to worry about my pack in a luggage compartment and I could travel at my own speed. It was an added bonus that the car was more than big enough for me to comfortably sleep in. Once again this confirmed for me how when I follow what feels to be my right path external things work out. Who knows if that car would’ve been there if I had stayed and hiked an extra day. Once again, I was pleased that I didn’t spend any time worrying about how I was going to get back to Santa Fe. I think the trails have finally taught me the lessons I needed to learn about going with the flow, putting one foot in front of the other and not worrying about the future.

First stop after getting the car was to get a pizza. I thoroughly enjoyed chowing down on a large vegi pizza, after which I purchased some fruit and drinks at the nearby grocery store. Then I started on my way to Santa Fe.

It wasn’t long before I had to pull over to take a brief nap. I drove a few more hours after that and when it started to get dark, I pulled in next to an 18 wheeler parked behind a small gas station, took my sleeping bag out of my pack and laid down for the night.

In the morning, I made it to Santa Fe, where I stopped at the house of my friend, Mark, who had been taking care of my car. He was away for at least another week, but gave me free reign of his house. I dropped off my gear, took a shower, and drove the rental to the Santa Fe airport to return it. I think this is when the end of the trail really hit me.

Even though it was a small airport, I was surrounded by cars, metal buildings and traffic and construction noise. I had just navigated 800 miles of hiking trail but here I felt lost. I had no idea which building to go in to drop off the key and no one I asked could help me. I called the car rental company, but they too were unable to help. Noticing that I was on the verge of tears I dug deep inside to find the Mary Badass who just hiked the Arizona Trail. And just like on the trail, I started putting one foot in front of the other, walking towards one building after another until I found the right one.

As I begin my walk back to the house I was staying at, I thought of all the people who tell me how dangerous hiking is. I felt much more unsafe walking along that busy road with very little shoulder.

Once again I was reminded of how we often see what we are used to seeing. I was so used to seeing a person with a pack and assuming they a thru hiker, that when I saw a person walking towards me with a pack, my inclination was to greet them and ask their trail name. I recognized that when I expected to be insulted, I saw insults where they didn’t exist, and when I expected to be treated kindly, more often than not that is what happened. I also realized that when on my walk back to Mark’s from the airport, I walked into a gas station to buy a cold drink and use the bathroom, and was turned away, the woman behind the counter saw me as one of the people holding signs and asking for money on the street outside the gas station. I was humbled and once again reminded that not only don’t I want to judge somebody by the cover, I don’t want to ever judge anybody period.

I finally made it back to my friend Mark’s house in Santa Fe, where I spent the rest of the day eating and sleeping.