I’ve had a really wonderful experience on the trail. It began with some very unpleasant interactions.

My first night out of Pine when I finally reached my tent area they were already two tents set up there. The slanted ground was littered with rocks and pinecones and camp spots were few and far between. It was near dark and one knee was bothering me. There was one really nice spot right next to one of the tents, but I chose instead to camp in a very small, so-so spot between the two tents.

As I was getting ready to set up my tent, the young man in one of the tents asked me if I would mind moving further away. I looked around and when I couldn’t find any other place to go, I asked him where he would suggest. He tossed his hand behind him in the direction I had just come from and said, “somewhere back there.” I was in no shape to go looking for a campsite and had to desire to go backwards, especially when he refused my suggestion that he clear a spot for me. I realized that as much as I wanted to be kind to him, I also had to be kind to myself. So calmly I said to him, “actually, I would mind. I’ll get into my tent and I won’t talk to you again.

In the morning, the young man was gone early. The people in the other tent told me that he had been a bit gruff with them as well. We chatted a bit and decided he must be just out for a small hike because most thru hikers wouldn’t act that way. Then I put the whole incident behind me and enjoyed hiking that day with Treking Pole, who got the name because she’s Polish, and her partner, Bard.

My first night out of Flagstaff was another time when I reached camp exhausted near dark. There were already a young man and woman camped there. And again, as I was sitting up my tent in one of the few spots I saw that was a little protected from the wind and also clear of pinecones, I was asked if I would please move. I had done close to 27 miles that day including going over a 9000 foot peak with six days supply of food. I was on the verge of tears. I asked him if he knew of any other spots and he said there’s plenty. I told him that if he would clear one for me I would go there, but he declined my offer.

After looking around a little bit, I decided to just set up my tent in that one place. If we had been in a commercial campground there would’ve been at least two sites if not more between us. As I began setting up, he said “if you put your tent up there, I’m gonna have to move mine.”

Again I turned in circles looking for another spot, but once again I was too weary. Rather than succumbing to his pressure, I thought “that’s OK if you want to move your tent, you have the right to and I’m not forcing you to.” I was actually pleased with myself to be able to hold my own once again without feeling guilty.

I sent my tent up for the night while they looked around and finally moved their entire camp set up further away out of the tree cover.

In the morning, I and that couple kept leapfrogging on the trail. At one point we reached a water box and he started yelling at me saying, “you’re the one who camped near me at Pine and nobody else has done that. This was in direct contradiction to what he had told me the night before when he said that they had just had so many nights with people camped hear them. He continued to yell at me and find fault with me. Without thinking, I very calmly asked him what had happened in his life to cause so much anger. I told him I wondered what his trauma was, and I said I hope you can find peace as you hike. At this he became furious and stomped away.

I shared a few words with his girlfriend who had been kind to me the night before. She had actually come to me with tears in her eyes saying, “I’m sorry he’s being so rude.”

Ironically, for the next few days we kept leapfrogging I saw them more than I saw any other hiker on the trail. Luckily, I didn’t take what he said personally. I recognized that in the past I would have chastised myself and wanted to get him to like me. But now, I knew that I had done nothing wrong. It’s expected on a hike like this for campers to cluster together near water sources or where there are the few good camp spots.

As I walked along, I felt proud of myself. I realized I was really cultivating self love.

But nevertheless, I couldn’t get him out of my head. I kept thinking, “oh God we’re gonna be together at the south rim campground.” and then I worried that maybe we would be together down in the canyon as well. I kept thinking about it over and over and over again. At first I got lost in the thoughts, creating various scenarios in my head. Then, when I became conscious of what I was doing, I worked on not thinking about him and getting him out of my head. I kept wishing well for him. I worked on feeling compassion for him. I was sad that he carried so much anger. But none of that worked to get him out of my head. And I could tell they were having the same struggle, because every time I ran into them, both of them turned away from me and refused to look at me. In fact one time I was at a really good water source and I saw them approaching. When they saw me they went away, opting instead for water of a much poorer quality.

Finally I decided to try gratitude. I figured there must be a reason he kept cycling in my brain, and I decided to be grateful for it to see what lessons I could learn. Almost as soon as I became grateful and welcomed the thoughts in as teacher, I felt that wounded little girl inside of me. She began to cry, and I could feel her fear around my mother. She never knew when my mother would start screaming or hitting and lived in constant fear. As I processed this connection, I realized that little girl inside of me was obsessing about him not because she felt she was bad, but because she was worried about getting yelled at or worse. In that moment, I was able to step back and connect with her and tell her that everything would be OK. I reminded myself that I’ve been trying to live with the premise of trust that everything will work out OK. I thought rather than worrying about what might happen when I get to the Grand Canyon, I had to trust that it will all be OK. And as soon as I did, this, I was able to stop obsessing about him.

I arrived at the Grand Canyon and had my tent set up when they pulled in. There were a number of other thru hikers camped in the hiker/biker spot. I felt awkward when we all started chatting together, but I resolved to hold onto kindness, not judging this young man but also not allowing him to bully me.

I wanted to say something to him to try to create connection, but it was awkward with all the people around.

Finally, a moment arrived when it was just the girlfriend and I. She came up to me and said “he feels really bad about how he treated you but he’s too proud to tell you.”

I resolved then and there that I would talk with him. When he returned I reached out my hand and said I’d like to be friends and make a connection and have peace. He took my hand, shook it, and said “let bygones be bygones.” We exchanged a few more words and I told him that I didn’t think ill of him. I told him how I had used the event to heal some of my trauma. I also told him that I believed that the fact that he and I were now shaking hands and talking was the greatest trail magic of all.

I don’t know how much more the universe can affirm that I just have to keep putting one foot in front of the other and trust that wherever I am is exactly where I need to be. I have to keep reminding myself that everything is always all working out.

The power of gratitude is amazing. And what better place for this to happen than the sacred majestic Grand Canyon.