People always ask me if I’m afraid out here. I tell them the most dangerous part of the trip is the drive across country. Instead of fear, my main feelings on the trail are gratitude and trust.

For starters, I trust the people who made the trail and who maintain it. As a hiker I often mindlessly follow this path trusting whatever markers are out there, whether they are blazes on trees, piles of rocks marking the way or posts sticking up on the side of the trail. I trust that people haven’t come along and completely moved them just to mess up the hikers. For the most part, I trust the trail app called FarOut. I also trust the comments people make on the app saying whether there’s water ahead, a trail closure or giving me other useful information.

I trust the water in the water caches and the food that people give me. I’ve trusted people I’ve never met with my car both on the Ice Age Trail and on my Connecticut river paddle. in these instances, I gave people I didn’t know the key to my car and let them take it down the trail knowing it would be waiting for me when I reached it.

I’m always honored by how many people trust me. Trail angels welcome hikers they’ve never met into their home for the night. I’ve even been given offers to stay in a house when the owners weren’t there.

Now, just as in day-to-day life there are people who should not be trusted, there are people on the trail who are untrustworthy. There are people who have had their packs stolen, and a few people who have been murdered on the trails but it’s fairly rare. I’ve learned to practice common sense and to trust my instincts. If I were to be fearful all the time I would miss the wonderful things that are given to me each day, such as all the flowers that I am seeing in just about every color. Each dayI see flowers in white, pink, red, orange, yellow, purple, and even blue. Had I been too busy worrying I might have missed them and certainly would not have been able to fully appreciate them. I also would not have been able to fully enjoy the incredible sunset I witnessed right from my tent.

I have to trust my gear when I’m out here; I trust my sleeping bag will keep me warm enough even when it’s well below freezing and that my tent will keep me dry enough even though it’s showing signs of serious wear. So while I trust my gear, I also have to trust myself to pay attention to what’s happening with it and to catch small problems before they become disastrous out here. And I’ve had to learn to trust that when things look like they’re not working out it won’t be the end of the world. I think this is a difficult lesson for those of us who have endured childhood abuse, because back then the bottom really did drop out. But I’ve learned now that I’ll be able to deal with the difficult things when they happen without having to dissociate and leave part of myself behind.

I also have learned to trust that I have figured the details out well enough with my gear and food drops and can make changes along the way if need be. I trust the people I mail my boxes to including sometimes the US Postal Service to get them there. I’ve learned that there are certain companies I can trust such as KEEN, Hydro Blue, Darn Tough socks and REI. These have all made good on problems while I’ve been on trail. I’ve learned which companies are less reliable so I tend to use their gear only if absolutely necessary. Excellent customer service, especially when out on trail is critical and word gets passed up and down the trail. Thus it is not unusual to see some of the same gear used by many hikers.

I’ve learned where to find water and how to go without for long stretches when need be. I’ve learned that I can hang out at an unexpected but very pleasantly offered trail magic, chatting and enjoying the company, knowing that I’ll still be able to get up and hike the 12 more miles to water. I’ve learned when I need to make a U-turn and find another way due to fires or bad weather. Mostly I’ve learned as long as I keep putting one foot in front of the other, I’ll be OK.

I also trust that like Forrest Gump, I will know when to stop walking. In the meantime, I trust my inner wisdom that has taught me never to give up on a bad day. I’ve learned to trust my experience that has shown me that when the really hard moments come, I can step back and take a break. I’ve learned that change will always come. No matter how bad it is one day, it’ll be different eventually. Sometimes it might be worse for a while but eventually it does improve!

And the more I live from a place of trust and gratitude rather than fear and worry, the more I am to appreciate the life I’m living.