Thanks to Mary Badass I had a new experience today.

I had an interaction with someone who had been upset with me. I did my best to explain the meaning of my words and I told them I was open to hearing whatever they wanted to tell me. In fact I welcomed hearing from them because it might provide me with a new learning experience. I felt good about the way I interacted with them.

Then I took off to find a post office and UPS so I could mail my packages for the first part of the trip. My GPS kept taking me in circles but I did not get frustrated. Instead I looked at the map on my phone and figured out where to go.

Once at the post office I realized I could not carry all of my packages in at one go, so I went into a store in the mall where the po was located to get a cart. A woman worker was standing near the carts and rather than taking one on the sly or feeling like I was doing something wrong or needed to hide, I asked her if I could borrow a cart. I explained the need and promised her I would return it. She readily agreed to let me take one.

At the post office I chatted with many of the customers as well as the people behind the desk. I did not freak out at the cost of mailing the packages and by the time I left everyone in the office was wishing me good luck on my hikes.

As I drove to UPS where the whole scenario was repeated, including my GPS taking me in circles, I recognized how good I was feeling inside. Feeling good and happy with myself is a relatively rare and new experience so I made a mental note to really feel these lovely feelings.
Then I thought of the interactions with the person who had been upset with me, realizing that they might yet send me another note expressing displeasure with something I had done. And in that moment Mary Badass shone with all her badass wisdom.

She let me know that no matter what any other person thought of me, I did not have to let it affect how I felt or what I believed and knew to be true about myself. I had yet another reminder that since I have connected with my dissociated parts, happiness is now in my control just by changing my thoughts. Instead of looking at an unpleasant interaction as something to be unhappy about, I can be happy for the learning it brings me. Rather than being frustrated with my GPS I can be grateful that I have the skills to look at and follow a map. And no matter what anyone else thinks about me, I can hold onto my happiness by believing in myself and my goodness.

I resolved then and there to have a wonderful time hiking, not worrying about being cold or uncomfortable. I will work to stay in each present moment smelling the smells and taking in the beauty of the land around me, grateful that this old body can still hike despite the aches and pains which are sometimes quite intense.

And I will always be grateful to Mary Badass for showing me how to do what I need to do to be whole and happy in this world. May you all find your badass within!