Before I left Vermont, mud season had once again turned the dirt roads to a morass of ruts, potholes and sucking mud that could grab and hold a car in place. Add to the top of this a spring snowstorm with a layer of ice underneath and the roads become almost impossible to navigate.

These were the conditions I encountered the day I was returning home after putting the summer tires on my car. I did not want to drive across the country with my wonderfully grippy, studded snow tires so I found myself on a deeply rutted mud road covered in nine inches of new snow. Sure enough, I hit a rut hidden under the snow and went into a spin. Luckily I was not driving more than 5 mph and was able to pull out of it before going over the edge of the mountain. In part I was able to do this because I did not panic, trusting instead what I knew about how to come out of a spin.

This got me thinking a number of things. One was about the importance of having the right gear. In this case snow tires would’ve been better, but given the situation I was in I needed to have them off as I was leaving the next day.

For each of the two hikes I am attempting (the Arizona Trail and the Pacific Northwest Trail), I will encounter different conditions and need some different gear. As an example, I will not need my bear proof food bag nor bear spray on the AZT but will definitely carry these on the PNT. On the AZT I will use an aging but much loved tent that has some pin holes which will let in some rain. Since I don’t expect a lot of rain in the deserty AZT I will save my better tent for the much wetter PNT where I will at some point be hiking in a rain forest!

As I have been making these decisions I am trying to be aware of needing to come from a place of honesty with myself. It would be so easy to say “Oh, it is the Arizona desert. You will be fine without snow gear.” But I have learned to always respect mother nature, knowing that she can fling at me things which could easily kill me. So I am trying to make informed decisions, balancing my knowledge of the trail conditions and what I might like to have in an ideal world, with my experience of carrying a pack that is too heavily laden.

Just as I took my snow tires off in a major spring snowstorm and had to carefully navigate the muddy snowy roads, drawing on my inner experiences to pull myself out of a spin without panic, I will make decisions with my gear, trusting that I will be able to draw on my past experiences and be safe and comfortable enough. I expect I might spend a few cold moments on the Arizona Trail, but I’m willing to take that trade off and leave the heavier clothes behind. I expect I will encounter some snow, but I do know how to do a self arrest with a hiking pole if need be. And since the snow patches will not be extensive, I will leave the ice axe and spikes behind. I am choosing a lighter weight pack over all the creature comforts and my research has indicated I will not need the protection of micro spikes and ice axe in Arizona.

All of this is part of my living as Mary Badass. I am doing what I can do to learn what I need in life and then make decisions not based on worry and not trying to cover every possible scenario out there. Rather I am trying to base my decisions on my inner wisdom and be willing to take whatever consequences come my way.

I mentioned there were a number of things this incident had me thinking. Another of these will be covered in the next blog!