By Mary Anderson

I have to be aware of avalanches while on the trail. Steep slopes, new snow on top of old snow, and soft, rotting spring snow are all things I need to keep an eye out for.

I need to be aware of avalanche dangers as well in my physical body and my emotional self.

I am good at pushing even when my body is in pain. I don’t use Novocain at the dentist, but sometimes I push too hard. If I will be able to complete this hike I have to avoid an avalanche of small pains and injuries growing into bigger ones. Many people have to leave the trail due to stress fractures or bad blisters. I have to keep an eye out for the signs of an impending bodily crash and ward it off by hiking my own hike at my own speed, neither comparing myself to other hikers nor trying to keep up with them.

I also need to prevent emotional avalanches. The idea of suicide has been with me a very long time. When I was three I was praying to die. I had to remove a rope with a hangman’s noose from around my neck before I set out to hike the first part of this trail. If I am not careful I can easily slip back into that place. To avoid it, I need to remain aware of crossing steep emotional slopes. I need to be careful when I push through old, rotting beliefs about myself. Stepping into a new, more positive vision of myself might sound good, but just like new snow on top of old, it can leave me in danger of an emotional avalanche. To avoid these I have learned to stay in connection with my friends. They will dig me out when I get buried, though I’d like to save them some work!